she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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