The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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