We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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