You made me cry and you don't even care
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
