Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize