we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
