Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
