just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
