hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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