Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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