i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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