Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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