I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
