He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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