party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
