Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
