well you can't waste a boner
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
