i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Holy shit dude........stairs
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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