she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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