Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
