eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
