I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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