he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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