I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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