worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
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