I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
