I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
