Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
