every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
