let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize