i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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