Nicole vs. Life
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
