i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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