They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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