i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
