I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
