Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
