if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
