I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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