How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize