If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
