I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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