i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
