What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
