I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
