When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My vagina just clenched in fear
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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