can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize