Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
