It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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