2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
