Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
