I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
