so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
