When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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