So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
