Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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