the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
