I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize