I am spending my child support on dildos
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
